Live workshop and Q&A with Jillian Turecki
THEMES
Trust issues, Emotional availability, Relationship patterns, Self-worth, Communication, Attachment styles, Boundaries, Personal growth, Self-compassion
NOTES
Summary & Takeaways:
Navigating Divorce and New Relationships
Emphasized the importance of processing past relationship baggage, especially during a divorce. Becoming less reactive to an ex-partner's actions is crucial for future happiness. Honest and transparent communication, without dwelling on past drama, is key in new relationships.
Healing from Betrayal:
Explored the complexities of healing from a profound sense of betrayal. It's important to avoid focusing on the negative and instead recognize any positive aspects of the experience. Reframing the situation and understanding the other person's limitations can aid in moving forward.
Breaking Negative Relationship Patterns:
Discussed identifying and changing negative patterns in relationships, such as being attracted to emotionally unavailable individuals. Understanding the dynamics of communication and defensiveness can help break these cycles.
Addressing Fear of Speaking Up:
Tackled the fear of expressing oneself, especially in relationships. Starting with small, low-stakes situations to practice advocating for one's needs can build confidence. It's also essential to recognize and challenge self-doubt and anxiety.
Overcoming Trust Issues:
Provided guidance on dealing with trust issues stemming from past relationship experiences. Focusing on the positive aspects of the current relationship, appreciating the partner, and addressing personal anxieties are crucial steps. It also highlighted the importance of self-compassion.
Ending a Relationship with a “Good” Person:
Explored the complexities of ending a relationship when there's no clear "reason" but a deep-seated feeling that it's not the right fit. Recognizing and honoring one's gut instincts is paramount.
Quotes
"Don't let your ex steal your happiness."
"...there are some people who are meant to be a love story, and some who are meant to be a life story. And when we try to put the love story into the life story bucket... we then experience pain."
"Don't get pulled into the drama."
"…because if we're all honest with ourselves, we could admit that there have been times, and for some of you, many times, but for all of us, sometimes, where we get pulled into the drama."
"Mindfulness is the practice of looking at a story or looking at a circumstance and being able to see it Circumferentially, so being able to see it from various different perspectives."
"Whenever we're going through something difficult, like a divorce, your only job is to become less reactive to whatever your ex is doing."
Reflective Prompts
What are my earliest instincts or body sensations trying to tell me in a relationship?
Where in my past relationships did I ignore small red flags? What were the consequences?
Do I feel more aligned with masculine or feminine energy? How does that show up in my relationships?
When I feel someone withdrawing, how do I respond emotionally? What does that reveal about my attachment style?
What story am I telling myself about what someone else’s behavior means about me? Can I release that story?
In what ways have I internalized someone else’s emotional limitations as proof of my inadequacy?
How can I be more intentional and mindful in my future connections?