THEMES
How long should I wait to have sex?, communication, conflict, listening, over-giving, over-nurturing, the difference in how men and women approach commitment, conflict and over-giving, how our childhood wounds can come up relationships/conflict.
CW MONTHLY WORKSHOP FEBRUARY 2025
Live workshop and Q&A with Jillian Turecki.
NOTES
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There is no right or wrong answer. What does sex mean to you?
Men can sleep with you and forget about you the next day. But that doesn’t always happen for women. Not all men... But the majority of men can separate sex from love. This changes when men get older as their testosterone lowers/estrogen goes up (post 50/60s)
You must honor yourself - don’t allow yourself to be used for sex.
Take it slow.
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Situational - how did he handle it when you asked for a girlfriend label?
Don’t wait around at 5 months for someone to be ready
If you don’t feel any commitment from them - recognize that right away. Is it worth for you to put you all into it?
The overgiving is not what keeps a man, it keeps a woman
I hate the way this ended, I wish it would have ended differently and I would love to have a conversation with you and part ways in a way that feels better for the both of us.
Never ever, from day 1, love and be there for someone, because they are a stranger. Never be the sacrificial woman. That’s not what makes men fall in love. The antidote isn't to be cold, but to be loving and who also doesn’t give their life for someone else.
Women - don’t try to be the rescuer. Don’t give that of yourself to a stranger. Allow for them to give to you.
The story you tell yourself “I’m abandoned, I’m good enough,” - no, you are enough!
Now it’s time to give to yourself!
There is programming: If I nurture more, I will be loved more. But that’s not the way it works. Giving so much of yourself to someone who is not reciprocating is not love.
Have boundaries. Show up as yourself.
Jillian to make a workbook and resource for honoring yourself / giving to self. How to give in a relationship while also giving to yourself
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If my partner is avoidant during conflict or resistance, he thinks I’m crazy
I feel like he doesn’t take my issues seriously, and he feels criticized.
This is an issue when both partners are terrible listeners, they don’t listen to each other and just keep fighting for days.
We can get anxious and pre-occupied and don’t see the other side of the story
People don’t break up when their needs are met
The 6 needs:
Certainty/safety
Uncertainty/adventure
Significance/feeling important
Love and Connection/feeling loved
Growth
Contribution
Men get flooded faster that women do when it comes to conflict
Advice: Listen more and learn to let go a little bit
Meet needs without the detriment of your own health.
What is the story from childhood that keeps coming up in your relationship?
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Jillian Turecki in Conversation with Case Kenny: It Begins with You - Live Event in NY + Virtual Tickets Available