THEMES

anxiety in relationships, anxious attachment, long term relationships, trusting your instrincts, anixety vs. intuition, anger and grief, rebuidling after breakups

MAY 7, 2025

NOTES

Key Takeaways

  • Anxiety often masks deeper issues; identifying the type of anxiety helps untangle it

  • Trusting your instincts and forgiving yourself are crucial for healing after relationships end

  • Anger is a natural part of grief; finding healthy ways to express it aids the healing process

  • Focusing on personal growth and envisioning a positive future helps move past relationship challenges

Anxiety in Relationships

  • Anxiety can stem from childhood wounds around not feeling good enough

  • Identifying the type of anxiety (e.g. fear of unfamiliarity vs. genuine incompatibility) helps address it

  • Practicing being present in the moment counteracts anxiety about the future

  • Building trust in oneself is key to feeling more secure in relationships

Ending Long-Term Relationships

  • Trusting instincts that a relationship isn't right, even if it's difficult to let go

  • Forgiving oneself for angry outbursts during breakups

  • Recognizing patterns of staying too long in unfulfilling relationships

  • Focusing on personal growth and independence after a relationship ends

Processing Anger and Grief

  • Anger is a natural part of grieving the end of a relationship

  • Healthy ways to express anger: journaling, cursing, physical activity, talking with friends

  • Understanding anger's purpose in signaling hurt and unmet needs

  • Accepting the grieving process takes time; be patient with yourself

Rebuilding After a Breakup

  • Focus on activities that bring joy and energy (e.g. fitness, time with friends)

  • Envision and journal about a positive future for yourself

  • Make small changes to your environment to facilitate a fresh start

  • Draw on past experiences of overcoming challenges to build confidence

Personal Inquiry

  • Practice identifying types of anxiety when they arise

  • Find healthy outlets for processing anger and grief

  • Focus on envisioning and working towards positive futures

  • Leverage support from the group and other resources as needed

Resources

The "3 Ps" of learned helplessness, a framework developed by psychologist Martin Seligman, describe the negative cognitive distortions that contribute to a sense of helplessness. These are: Permanence, Pervasiveness, and Personalization