Live workshop and Q&A with Jillian Turecki.
THEMES
Attachment dynamics, emotional regulation, communication patterns, relationship pacing, fear of commitment, loneliness, post-divorce identity, self-trust, personal empowerment, purpose-driven living, grief and aging, boundaries, self-worth, relational trauma, healing through service, community building.
NOTES
Summary & Takeaways
Understanding Doubts in a Healthy Relationship: If someone is emotionally available, consistent, takes responsibility, and shares your values, doubts might stem more from internal fear of commitment than incompatibility. It’s essential to explore whether your discomfort is due to real relational misalignment or the discomfort of unfamiliar emotional safety.
Navigating “The Ick” and Communication Differences: Discomfort around a partner’s conversational style (like excessive talking or lack of pacing) can be addressed gently. If the person is open and willing to grow, it’s worth giving the relationship a chance. Communicate your needs using appreciative language, and offer real-time guidance to create space for more mutual connection.
Redefining Identity After Divorce: There’s no rush to “enjoy” being alone. It’s normal to grieve the loss of companionship. But freedom after a draining marriage offers a profound opportunity to reclaim your energy, redirect it toward what brings you joy, and rebuild life with intention. Finding or creating community is key.
Breaking Through Self-Doubt in Purpose Work: Feelings of inadequacy or “not having your life together” are common when stepping into purpose-led work. Often, it’s through the act of teaching or serving others that we find healing ourselves. Your readiness is not defined by perfection but by your willingness to begin.
Letting Go of Outdated Self-Perceptions: Insecurity around aging, shifting sexual identity, or appearance is deeply valid, but shouldn’t be the lens through which you assess your worth. Healing often accelerates when we anchor our sense of self in our capacity to serve and express who we are, beyond our looks or labels.
Choosing the Right Relationship: Rather than focusing only on attraction, get clear on the emotional traits you need in a long-term partner: calmness, emotional availability, stability, good boundaries, and reliability. Past trauma can complicate attachment, so healing means not only understanding your story but choosing partners who can meet your needs in secure ways.
Quotes
“Sometimes it’s through the teaching of others that we get our lives together.”
“It’s not about getting your life together and then leading. It’s through the leading that we often get our life together.”
“You’re not going to find anyone who’s perfect. But if they’re willing and open, that’s what matters most.”
“Freedom means you now get to take that energy that went into managing a relationship—and put it back into yourself.”
“Our self-esteem rises when we focus on the ways we can serve and show up, not just how we look.”
“For you to feel safe, there needs to be space in the conversation for you to enter.”
“Just because you feel the ick doesn’t mean it’s your truth. It might be your fear.”
“Rejection breeds obsession.”
Reflective Prompts
What is the difference between discomfort from misalignment vs. discomfort from emotional safety you’re not used to?
How do I tend to communicate my needs—and how could I make space for more vulnerability?
What are the qualities I need in a partner to feel seen and safe?
Where am I still trying to “get it together” before allowing myself to begin?
How does fear still try to convince me I’m not ready?
How can I build or deepen my sense of community this month?
Am I over-identifying with external markers (age, appearance, relationship status) instead of anchoring into my purpose?
What would change if I related to myself as someone already whole, rather than someone broken or behind?