If you're looking for love, you gotta do this.

Is there any part of you that is over being single? Are you restless… longing to experience deep romantic chemistry with someone? I get it. No doubt it’s an incredible feeling, and frankly I believe it’s what we’re wired for. If you’re single and feeling restless, this isn’t a plea to end your search; but rather to teach you how to quell that uneasiness by harnessing the opportunity that’s before you.

The opportunity is GROWTH:

Proactively committing to your growth is the most important thing to do when you’re single and looking for love. In fact, it should be your priority when you are IN a relationship as well. But you have to start now, because it will largely determine the quality of your next partner.

You don’t want to enter your next relationship as the same person you were in your previous one.

Let me explain: One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen people make (including myself) is to blame the other person for the demise of their relationship. Even more common is blaming the actual relationship, as if “the relationship” was this elusive entity separate from the two people involved.

The moment you take responsibility for the choices you’ve made in your love life, is the moment you change the game.

This isn’t about shame - it’s the opposite. You must recognize the privilege it is to claim sovereignty over your life which includes who you attract, and more importantly who you’re attracted to. To be response - able for your life IS self love. And, when you train yourself to look onto your inevitable failures as opportunities for growth and rebirth; well, that’s radical self-love.

Growth is an inside job - meaning, it’s more of a feeling rather than something that can be measured by circumstance. There certainly may be symptoms of your growth such as various achievements or successes, but the most obvious indication of your progress is that you FEEL more whole, and thus, more fulfilled. Even when life gets difficult, if we’re growing, our lives will feel meaningful.

Below are three steps to help catapult your growth and prepare you for your next relationship.

Define what’s important to you. Everyone has adopted beliefs that are influenced by family and cultural conditioning. Plus, as we age and experience the vicissitudes of life, our priorities will naturally shift. That’s why you must evaluate what is intrinsically important to you, right now. When you have CLARITY about what is deeply important to you and then live your life in alignment with that, you’ll cultivate a core confidence that will stand the test of disappointments in your love life. And you won’t settle. It’s definitely a process, but begin by asking yourself these two questions:  (I’d suggest writing this down) “What do I want to FEEL as much as possible? If for example, your answer is joy, then list the things that bring you joy, and you’ll start to uncover what is truly important to you. Then ask yourself: “What do I want others to feel when they’re around me?” Then follow the same steps as above. Just keep asking yourself questions of this nature and you’ll be amazed by what unfolds. 

Know what inspires you: We have habits that make us happy and ones that make us miserable. Consciously choose rituals that inspire you. If you’re not sure, start exploring in small ways. Three years ago I never listened to a podcast. Today, it’s my daily habit to expand my thinking and creativity. Reading for just 20 minutes a day inspires me. Music, and moving my body to it is hugely impactful - in fact, anything that plants you in your body will enhance your life. Guaranteed. Spend time with people who motivate you. Simply put, get in touch with what lights you up and do it.

Contribute. Find something that moves you and dedicate yourself to it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how or what that looks like - find your own way. Maybe it’s obvious like donating your time to volunteering, or your money to an important cause. Maybe it’s expanding your work to include a deeper purpose. Bottom line is we’re meant to contribute to our ecosystem, and when we help others, we feel good. Why? It gets out of our heads. It forces us to stop thinking about ourselves and our problems. And because when we give outside of ourselves in any capacity, we grow.

Do you need to elevate your self worth? You’re not alone. Pretty much everyone I know who is struggling in an area of their life is struggling because of low self worth. It creates so much anxiety and fear that it blocks the flow of our lives.

But listen: Those steps above? I did them as a way to boost my self esteem after a life altering divorce. It works. Big time. Growing through understanding our psychology, our needs, AND through giving back are key principles to raising our esteem for ourselves. Its magic. And hugger self worth and authentic joy even while single will raise your magnetism to off the charts. But don’t worry. It is a process, and the more chill you can be with yourself as you do this, the better,

And, there are many ways to grow: you could learn a new language, do something that scares you, face life’s challenges in a new way - the choice is yours. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that these three steps will guarantee your personal evolution, and the search for your next love will be filled with less longing, and much more ease.

Being that these steps have been at the foundation of my internal revolution, I decided to start a membership program for people just like YOU who are determined to elevate themselves. I also decided to give every new member to this community a FREE 30 day trial with zero pressure to continue as MY way of giving back. Click here to read about this incredible community of like minded people who are ruthlessly committed to their growth and emotional fitness. We’d love to have you!

To your growth. And, patience.

Jillian TureckiComment