How to Improve Myself in a Relationship: 6 Rules to Live By
Being in a relationship is a fantastic opportunity to grow as a person and see the world in a brand new light. Each relationship teaches us something new and brings about inner change both big and small.
It is, however, very easy to lose yourself in a new relationship. We get so enraptured by the presence of our significant other that we forget that we shouldn’t neglect our self-improvement goals.
So, in order to maintain a relationship with yourself while in a relationship with another, here are 6 rules to help you remember to take care of yourself.
How to Better Myself in a Relationship
We often receive so much love from our partners that it’s difficult to remember why and how we should love ourselves. Maintaining a self-relationship can actually strengthen your relationship because it encourages you to strive for mental and emotional stability.
Of course, the following 6 rules aren’t the only ones you should follow. You should take the time to figure out what works for you based on your relationship dynamic and what you need in your life. These next few tips are meant to guide you towards your own solutions and ideas.
1) Don’t Neglect Your Needs
One of the most important things you need to figure out is carving time out of your day for yourself. Spending time with your partner is great, but self-improvement is primarily something you must do on your own.
Everyone has mental, physical, and emotional needs that need to be met from time to time, and our partners can’t always fulfill those needs all by themselves. As a matter of fact, it would be unfair to expect them to do so, especially since they have their own needs too. In taking care of yourself and your own needs, you grow more confident, happier, and improve your emotional intelligence.
2) Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is important, even when the relationship is stable. Many believe that setting boundaries is something that is done after your partner has crossed some sort of line, but this isn’t true. Setting boundaries is all about expressing your personal beliefs and establishing your agency in the relationship.
Your partner cannot read your mind, so without boundaries, they will not be able to figure out what you require in order to aid your personal growth journey. A healthy relationship is one in which both partners communicate their boundaries and respect them to the best of their ability.
3) Let Your Partner Help from Time to Time
Improving yourself in a relationship is something that involves a lot of selfcare and time reflecting on yourself, but that doesn’t mean that your partner can’t help you every now and then. Allow yourself to lean on your partner during hard times. Not only does this improve the communication you have between each other, but it also accelerates your journey towards personal growth. Allowing the people who love you to take care of you is part of taking care of yourself.
4) Find a Balance Between Selfcare and Leaning on Others
When letting your partner, friend, or family lend a hand in your self-relationship, try to keep a balance between letting them help and helping yourself. Too much towards one end of the spectrum can be a detriment.
Trying too hard to be a lone wolf on your path towards self-improvement can actually cause tunnel vision and make yourself closed off to the positive energy your partner can provide. Leaning too much on them will limit your potential and enable co-dependency. It can also burn your partner out as they find themselves juggling too much between your needs and theirs.
5) Understand What You Want Out of The Relationship
Take a good look at your partner and what they can offer you. A good romantic relationship is one that allows you to grow into the person that you want to be. A good way to know that this is happening in your current relationship is if you like who you are when you are with your partner. For example, if you want to be more adventurous and your partner pushes you towards adventure, you are growing in the relationship.
6) Encourage Your Partner to Better Themselves
When romantic partners are both bettering themselves while together, the relationship lasts longer, feels better, and stays stable more frequently. Two emotionally intelligent people are better than one, so if you are on a path towards self-improvement, make sure you do everything you can to encourage your partner to do the same. Seeing them thrive can actually inspire you to do better for yourself, especially during stressful, challenging times.
Changing Yourself for a Relationship
Self-improvement is something that initiates a lot of change in your life. The problem is that being in a relationship does that too. It can be difficult to recognize when you are changing because you are becoming a better you and when you are changing yourself for a relationship.
This is why it’s important to set goals for yourself and for the relationship. Goal-setting is something that allows you to keep track of yourself, your wants, and your needs. Allow yourself time for self-reflection in order to look back and see how far you’ve come since being in a relationship and how far you think you have left to go. If you need additional information, you can always refer to the book Grit & Grace: 7 Steps to Survive Heartbreak. It's a great place to start if you want to learn more about how much we change while in relationships.
How to Value Yourself in a Relationship
Valuing yourself in a relationship helps to keep you centered. Although you have opened yourself up to another person and allowed them into your life, you need to continue to take certain steps that will allow you to find, nurture, and maintain the value you have. You learn to value yourself in a relationship when you:
Believe in yourself
Spend time on yourself
Feel like your actions can improve relationships
Start to feel like you have control over your life
Give yourself time to properly prepare yourself for stressful situations
Pay attention to your emotional needs
Move forward from misunderstandings
Feel like you have space to improve your relationship
Always take the time to communicate with your partner on how they can help you feel more valued. Prioritizing yourself when you need to will help you take a step in the right direction when it comes to self-improvement.
